Abortion: Right or Wrong?

Abortion! Is it right or wrong?  It is a very controversial issue.  We all have our own beliefs and some of us refuse to be dissuaded from them.  Personally, I have always been  pro-life, anti-abortion, however you want to say it, and I try to talk people out of having them, but am I correct in being this way?

Religion, especially if you are Catholic tells you that life begins upon conception.  Does life really begin the moment semen takes a swim upstream and meets a desirable egg?  I have always believed that it does.  I still do.  So is it right to have an abortion?  I mean is there a time when abortion is right?  I can hear the arguments beginning.  Is there a time when a Christian woman is correct in having an abortion?  Or any woman for that matter?  Tell me, is there a time when it’s right?

Yes, there is!  At least to me there is and I am as anti-abortion as they come.  I had to look and think long and hard on this matter.  Some of you are saying there is no right time to have an abortion, that it is an act of murder.  Others of you are saying anyone that wants an abortion can have one, it’s their body and their personal choice.

I am not here to decide whether it’s right or wrong, only to shed some light on some of the reasons why it would be right.

If a woman had been raped and went to the hospital to have a DNC, would you deny her that?  Would you tell her that she cannot in fact have a DNC to clean out what the rapist left behind?  Of course you wouldn’t.  But a DNC is the same as an abortion in a manner of speaking in the aspect that if life begins upon conception and you were fertile at the time, then life would already be growing inside you.  You wouldn’t know that at the time though, so you wouldn’t consider that. You would have the DNC.  After all no one would want to force someone to have a child, that was conceived it in such a manner, would they?  Yet some women who do not report their rape and do not go to the hospital find out soon enough that they were in fact fertile at the time the act was committed.

What about the woman who finds out she is pregnant and took all precautions not to get that way?  The woman who just graduated college and is beginning a new life with a new career?  How about the teenager who was not taught the difference between love and lust (which are hard for adults to tell) should she be allowed an abortion?  In my opinion no.  (I just shocked some of you)  Young girls do not understand the permanent damage that an abortion can do to them.  It can leave them with an inability to conceive and carry again, yet some parents will force a teenager to have one not because they want to help the girl, but to protect their own reputations.  Yet again, some girls will have one behind their parents backs so that their parents won’t find out what they had done or because of pressure from the boy.

What about he woman whose doctor had told her that if she were to conceive again she would not survive the birth?  The woman that was told if she went through with carrying the child, then she wouldn’t survive past the seventh month and she should have her will prepared and make arrangements for the care of her previous children?  Is it still wrong for her to terminate?

My answer is no.  I believe that no woman whose life is at risk should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term, especially an unwanted one that she has tried to prevent.  I just believe that is wrong.  Would you in your beliefs, no matter what they are, expect her to carry to term a deadly pregnancy?

What about the woman in an abusive relationship?  Should she be forced to have a child that will keep her tied to her abuser for the next eighteen years of that child’s life?  Should the father in any of these situations have the right to say the woman must have the child?

If the relationship is abusive you know he will demand she have the child.  And now there will be two lives at risk.  If she were to sneak off and have an abortion would it be right?  It would most likely be right for her.  Do we as a society have the right to tell other women whether or not they should be allowed to have an abortion?

Is it fair to tell someone else that they should bring a child into the world that they will be responsible for for at least the next eighteen years?  Should we force them to keep the child and place it up for adoption?  I must say I highly respect those women that can carry a baby nine months and then give it to someone else.  They are really bringing joy into other people’s lives when they do.

But still, all in all, is it right or wrong?  I believe now that the circumstances should be weighed before anyone passes judgement.  I think each incident is unique and each person is an individual that should have their privacy respected as well as their decision.  As far as myself, I have never had an abortion and the fact that I do not believe having one is right does not give me the right to determine someone else’s destiny.  It does not give me the right to tell them no, they can’t have one.

I know someone close to me that is pregnant and came to the decision that she wants to have an abortion.  I know that her doctor said that she needed to have her will prepared if she carried it through and that she shouldn’t expect to survive the last trimester. When she informed her boyfriend of that circumstance, his reaction shocked me.  He told her that was his child and her not surviving was not his problem.  When she questioned him about her other children and his love for her, he said, they weren’t his kids.  His concern was for the life inside her.  She told him that she may not survive and he told her she better stick it out as long as she can so his child would.

That was horrific!  How could you say something like that to someone you professed to love?  How could you not care about that person’s survival or their other children?  He claimed abortion was wrong.  However, in a case such as this, I say no it isn’t.  It is very sad that a choice has to be made, and believe you me I just heard every person that just said it’s a child not a choice, but when a life is hanging on a thread, the life of the person that will be responsible, the life of the person that may or may not have other children, I say no.  I say you must preserve the life of the one that is already here.

All in all as far as abortion goes, it is ultimately the choice of the person that needs to make the decision.  As much as it pains me to say, they are the only ones whose opinion counts.  It’s not yours or mine unless it is climactically affecting you. So I have come to the conclusion that there is no yes or no answer, there is no right or wrong.  It is personal and no matter how pro-life we are or aren’t, we cannot force our beliefs on others.


11 Responses to “Abortion: Right or Wrong?”

  1. January 28, 2015 at 10:07 pm

    I agree. I do believe that life begins, if not at conception, soon enough afterwards. I felt the loss of my unborn children deeply. Looking desperately on the Ultrasound screen to try and see that heart that I’d already seen beat and that was not to be seen any more… it is devastating. I was truly mourning the life of my unborn child as well as the hope I had of getting to know her. This said, I believe that most abortions are carried out because of reasons I will never know. But it is a difficult decision to make for the mother. I don’t think many mothers just use abortions as means of contraception. And even those who do have their reasons. I decided that my life would be happier if I didn’t judge others. So I am not going to force anyone to have an abortion, but I am not going to tell anyone they cannot have one either. Talk with them to make them realise the emotional burden the will have to live with all their life? Yes, gladly. But judge them? No.
    I’ll judge parents or spouses who will force a woman to have an abortion (my ex said that if I was pregnant with a DS baby, I should abort… I had a hard time accepting that idea, luckily I was never faced with making that choice). Forcing someone, anyone, one way or the other, is just not what I want to do.

    The other issue I have with banning abortion is that it will not prevent abortions. If a woman really is intent on aborting, she will try everything in her power to abort. And if she cannot do it safely, she will resort to riskier methods. Yes, some may say: too bad for her if she dies, it’s her problem. But what if she already has 4 or 5 other children who are still dependent on her? What is best? Risking the life of 5 living children and a mother or that of an unborn embryo? I personally don’t feel entitled to make that choice for others.

    Thank you for writing this article.

    • February 1, 2015 at 11:46 pm

      Thank you Dawn. I am pro-life but I cannot and will not tell someone else what they have to be. It is truly a personal decision and I don’t believe that most of the women that make that decision do so lightly. There are a few that do use it as birth control but they are mostly working girls and I think they should be capped on how many they can have. Of course that’s only my opinion, I wouldn’t force it on someone else. Thank you for commenting 🙂

      • February 2, 2015 at 12:10 am

        I remember feeling like this when I was pregnant, rin preterm labor and fearing I may not get to see my baby. But then my midwife told me something that made em reconsider. She said that some women who have multiple abortions couldn’t go on the birth control because they needed to get pregnant in order to feel like women. So it was really a mental health issue. One that should be treated, but as you know, mental health is never the most important thing in too many counties I’ve lived in. I should know, I’ve required it all these years.
        As for the fact that they are working girls… I am not sure it’s always true. And the fact that they may not be allowed to work with condoms, putting both their health and that of their clients at risk is another thing. But their Johns may not allow it, because the men who want to use their services don’t necessarily want to use condoms, it lessens sensations… You have to keep in mind that, though some of them are independents, a lot of them are not free of their actions.
        So even with those women, I wouldn’t place judgment.
        I do not condone the use of abortion as birth control. Not at all. I’m just saying that no matter who these women are who seek an abortion, they have their reasons for it. As you say: very few abortions are sought without a lot of consideration and for the wast majority of them, it was a hard decision to make.

      • February 2, 2015 at 12:35 am

        I agree dawn, it is a hard decision to make for any woman. Thank you for shedding light on this for me 🙂

  2. February 1, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Perfectly said Tre, I’m sure this is never an easy decision. And it’s personal. When I see people standing in front of clinics it makes me sick.

    I have been to a women’s health center for fertility reasons. The doctors were trying to help me get pregnant. What an ordeal that was.

    One day As I was leaving a very angry woman came up to me with a plastic fetus and shoved it in my face. She said “You are killing your baby.” I was mortified. Even when I told her that I wasn’t there for an abortion she continued to spew angry BS at me. These people who have nothing better to do than interfere in other women’s lives should be ashamed of themselves.

    I can’t imagine how the women who were there for an abortion must have feel when this happens. Who are we to judge? We have no idea what reason, nor is it our business to know the reasons why a woman would get an abortion.

    I am pro-choice. Have you ever had a miscarriage? It’s horrible. But No one can ever convince me that there’s life in blood clot as big as a quarter.

    And of course those people were there with their signs and plastic fetuses as I walked into the doctors office after that miscarriage too.I’ll never forget the hate in the way they spoke or the rage in their eyes. Walk a block in someone else shoes and there’s so much to be learned.

    This is a debate that is personal. But what you posted was perfect..

    • February 1, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      Annie, I am so sorry you had to go through this. Infertility and miscarriages are difficult enough, no need to have someone look at you in contempt. These people do not love life. They are skewed in their heads.

      I have been through both of your situations, though luckily with my private OB gyn. I never had to endure the stigma that some people felt they needed to put me under.
      I want to hug you.

    • February 1, 2015 at 11:43 pm

      Annie it is really sad. Some people think they have all the say over another person’s life. My sister faced death if she continued her pregnancy and that would leave her twins without a mother. She thought long and hard over this. It was the most difficult decision she ever had to make. She felt as though she were trading one life for another. It could not have been more wrong.

      There were women there having sixth and seventh abortions. These were working women and couldn’t afford to have a child from a John and face the consequences from a not so nice employer. It was sad. That is abuse of abortion to me. In that circumstance they should be on birth control and using condoms with nonoxynol 9 the sperm killing agent.

      I think if a woman is healthy enough to have a child then she should also consider the happiness she could give to someone else by giving the baby up for adoption. But the choice is not mine. It is theirs and they should have the right to decide what is right for them without repercussions from others.

      I am so sorry what you had to go through. People get their hate on and you can’t stop them. A few miles away from where she went, they had rioting men and women her were pro-life. My question is: If they are so pro-life, then why are they willing to kill someone else for their beliefs? It contradicts the meaning to me.

      Hugs to you my friend 🙂

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